Swimming Blogs - Jeff Grace

The New “F” Word

Running around the school yard as a child there were many words I learned that helped me expand my vocabulary. There was one word I learned though that I did not dare utter it in front of my mother; it was a four letter word that started with the letter “F”.

As a coach dealing with children and parents on a daily basis I have learned there is a new word that starts with the letter “F” that is considered to be almost as negative, except this one has seven letters, failure.

Success, n. More achievement than expectation.
Failure, n. More expectation than achievement.
Anonymous

There are both negative and positive connotations on all words, many times we all fall into the trap of associating the feelings a word induces, rather truly reflecting on what the word means.

What are the most common feelings that can be associated with the word failure? Disappointment, sadness, frustration are a start. It is only natural that we want to protect those we care about from such feelings, but by protecting them from failure what is the result?

Before we discuss the consequences of failure avoidance it is quiz time; whose life am I talking about?

Failed in business, defeated for legislature, failed in business again, elected to legislature, sweetheart died, had a nervous breakdown, defeated for speaker, defeated for elector, defeated for congressional nomination, elected to congress, defeated for congress, defeated for senate, defeated for vice president, defeated for senate and finally elected president of the United States.

Got it? Give up? Well if you guessed a man with a funny hat and a bad beard that changed the history of America and freed an entire population of people from slavery; you would be right, Abe Lincoln.

“The greatest accomplishment is not in never failing, but in rising again after you fail.” Vince Lombardi

Now would honest Abe have become the man that he was without dealing with failure? I think that the answer is simple (two letter word this time), NO. The fact is that failure is one of the best teachers that anyone can have. It is not a mentor that will pat you on the back, tell you to get back out there and that you should believe in yourself.

Instead failure gives a person the opportunity to examine their performance, to be able to reflect on what they may have done wrong and what they could do better the next time. Failure also gives a person the opportunity to show a strong belief in themselves by getting up once they have been knocked down.

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Henry Ford

When we treat failure as something that is entirely negative and promote failure avoidance, more often than not people develop a fear of failure. This fear can be an obstacle to success. When someone fears failure they will avoid risks that are often necessary to realize one’s fullest potential.

“The man that is afraid to risk failure seldom has to face success.” John Wooden

As a coach I see many young athletes with this fear. They hesitate when trying new skills and even avoid new strategies in training and competition, not putting in the effort necessary to change because they are scared that they may fail.

Every young athlete should be taught that failure is part of the learning process. When talking to an athletes about this skill; and dealing with failure is a skill, I ask them did you succeed the first time you tried to walk? The answer is obviously a no. The next question I ask them is what would have happened if they gave up after the first time they failed at walking? Most often a smile comes to their face as insight kicks in and they say ‘I couldn’t walk.’

If we allow children, never mind athletes, to believe that all failure is bad it will stop them from giving the effort necessary to achieve success.

“Don’t permit fear of failure to prevent effort. We are all imperfect and will fail on occasions, but fear of failure is the greatest failure of all.” John Wooden