Swimming Blogs - The Screaming Viking !
“Dude, could I bum a LZR?”
The decision has been made. The decree has been handed down. FINA isn’t really going to do anything about the suits except to say, “let’s not make them any faster than they already are.”
It’s all right. I am not gonna cry about it. I chose to embrace the suits a long time ago. I knew there wasn’t really a solution that could take us back to skin. I’m not gonna pout. I can live with it, and it will be exciting to see my swimmers go really freekin’ fast, but still…
Here’s a sign of how things have changed for me. At our state meet last weekend, my top girl was in an FS-PRO while it seemed like everyone else around her was in a LZR or a B70. I actually found myself walking around the deck like a junkie, asking coaches if any of their swimmers who had LZR’s didn’t make finals; not to make a point about the suits being fast… it was to see if I could borrow the suit. I felt like such a sell-out. “Dude, could I bum a LZR?” My swimmer did the work and had turned in lifetime bests, but she was still getting beat by swimmers who had never beat her before. I found myself thinking, “if I could just get my hands on a better suit…?” It’s all-right. Not everyone can afford them, but if they really want the suit, they will find a way. My girl will get one in college, even if she is at a mid-major and has to take a student loan to do it.
Maybe I should start a tech-suit rental service out of my car to make some extra cash. Maybe a used tech-suit ebay store would help. Then, when swimmers graduate they can dump their suit on me to get some of their money back and I can turn a small profit while helping the needy.
I was so proud of my swimmer, though. She chose to not wear her PRO at our conference meet. She wanted to break the conference record without it. Attagirl.
When I say I am embracing the suits…. I really mean it. I am going to find a way to get my swimmers in them. My high school doesn’t allow athletic teams to do fundraisers, and I know that my boosters are not allowed to buy the actual gear that they race in. It is up to me to get creative.
Here’s my plan: I am gonna milk this Screaming Viking gig for all it’s worth.
Tyr is the Norse God of Single Combat. A major swim suit company named for a character in the Viking pantheon of deities for cryin’ out loud! My goal is to make a comeback and earn a Tyr sponsorship. Even better… I want to become the first sponsored swim blogger in history. I will emblazon the Tyr logo on my Viking helmet. I will tattoo it to my body. I will sing the praises of Tyr brand tech suits every chance I get. I will train like Rocky IV and make my comeback at master’s meets to show people that I can do lifetime bests 13 years after my prime if I wear TYR’s brand of fancy-pants when I race. Hell… I will even learn to speak Norwegian and wear fur on deck at meets if that helps me in my cause. If I am going to sell out, I am not afraid to do it in a big way. This is my only shot to get my swimmers the gear they need, and I will do whatever it takes.
C’mon, Tyr… I would be a great investment. I won’t desert you like Erik Vendt. I could be your most shameless promoter. All you gotta do is give up a little high-tech fabric to help a brother out.
I have already modified my hat. What do you think?
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